limits » Chance It

Bunny Hop Brain

availability, disability, limits, vertigo 4 Responses »

Aug 272012

Every few months, my vertigo morphs a bit. Some things get easier, others harder, and I have to re-learn my limits. The latest morph has been more of a step back than a step forward. The fundamental issue is predictability: no matter how much data I collect between “what I do” and “how I feel”, correlations are not appearing. I’ll morph again. I’m sure the next shift will be a big step forward. In the meantime, my ongoing lawsuit against my long-term disability insurance company is reaching a critical milestone: the settlement conference is in late September, which is the last stage before “last chance for a pre-court settlement offer”, which is the last step before court. So I’ve spent ridiculous amounts of time mulling [read more...]

Not That Kind of GFE

availability, disability, honesty, issues, limits 6 Responses »

Mar 282012

The grand experiment was: see if I can successfully travel to meet an out-of-town lover for a multi-day romp, with some resting time built in. The first five days were a smashing success: I rested up after traveling, then we romped to our hearts’ delights in a sunny, warm, cozy place with every creature comfort I could have asked for. I got gussied up with straight hair and red red lips for our first sexy day: He likes me in just a bra and panties. And then I played the part of the good mistress and put on my maybe-we’re-just-colleagues outfit for scrumptious dining out about town (his wife knows about me – I’m more of an extra in their open marriage than a mistress, [read more...]

Still Alive

availability, honesty, issues, limits 6 Responses »

Mar 102012

I apologize for worrying so many of you by not writing. The crazy stuff: while I was in Houston in February, I tweaked my back, so I spent most of February trying to avoid sitting (lying down and standing and kneeling are fine, and fucking made it feel better, it was just sitting). Every time I tried to write a blog post from my phone, or sit at the computer long enough, something would interrupt, or I’d find myself staring blankly at the screen. I have no good excuse for my blog absence, really, other than “that’s the way this season’s insanity played out”. The fun stuff: Just yesterday, I got my first installment of my Social Security settlement from back in October, which will [read more...]

But I Want Something

celebration, honesty, issues, limits, me giving advice, my way 8 Responses »

Feb 102012

“How can you know what you want ’til you get what you want and you see if you like it?” Cinderella, Into the Woods “Human beings are not naturally wired to handle celebrity well – why would we evolve to deal with a million people caring about every detail of our lives when only so few of us have that problem?” – me, random musings “For the first time in my life, I can pay unexpected bills when they come in and not have to sacrifice paying something else. It’s as if Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs were magic: now I have the creative energy to write the stories that have been banging around in my head for a decade” -my ex-roommate, who recently finished the [read more...]

Thoughts from an Energy Rebound

blog meta, celebration, daily, honesty, issues, limits, phone sex operator 3 Responses »

Dec 112011

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, like when your old standby allergy medicines apparently interact with your vertigo medicines and you find yourself confused all the time and sleeping 14 hours in a row. And then sometimes, life lobs you a softie, like when you follow your intuition on how to switch up your allergy treatments and find yourself fully energized again with wildly raging lust, having to practically pin your hands at your sides not to start masturbating from the moment you wake up. I think maybe my favorite days are ones where I finally have that burst of ability again after a time of feeling limited. When the question, “Is this going to last forever?” is answered with a resounding “No, you [read more...]

I’m Stuffed

availability, control, honesty, issues, limits, me giving advice, my way, power, topping No Responses »

Oct 182011

Summary (extra-short): My stuff has arrived in my home, so I’m all stuffed up. Summary (medium-short): After 10 days of hearing nothing from our movers, we got a call Saturday saying they would hold our stuff hostage unless we paid them $800 more than the estimate. Sunday, after they arrived at 6:30 pm, we refused to pay it, called cops, had a 3-hour stand-off in our front yard, took video, measured the truck, I cried, and they eventually agreed to the $1600 originally estimated plus the $200 tip I had always intended to give them. Monday, they arrived at 11:30, took our money, then informed us they were in too big of a hurry to reassemble our furniture or put any furniture or boxes where [read more...]

Control, You Fickle Bitch

availability, disability, honesty, issues, limits No Responses »

Oct 142011

I had a lot of control when I lived in Houston – my husband was traveling for work 10 days out of every 14, my family and local friends were trained to call before dropping by, and I was finding my ability to adapt to the unexpected kind of, well, atrophying, because the unexpected was happening so rarely in my daily life. I mean, sure, there was the whole thing with “you’re moving – you’re not moving – you’re moving – you’re not moving – oh okay really you’re moving”, and anyone would have found that disruptive, but aside from that ennui, I could manage my dizzies, my dogs, my time, and my energy as I wished. Oct 2, I arrived at my new home [read more...]

Groggy Warning

honesty, limits No Responses »

Jun 302011

I have a new pattern of grogginess: midnight to noon. I try to counteract with caffeine, and sometimes that helps, but most days, the deeper I am in the midnight-to-noon time frame, the more I behave and sound like I live in California and have a medical marijuana prescription. The odd thing is, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m sleepy. I can be wide awake and groggy, which is occasionally annoying, but usually it’s more dreamy and relaxing for me as long as I’m not trying to problem-solve or intellectually analyze anything. My groggies have often been amusing to others who have witnessed it. Last night, between about 8:30 pm and midnight, I was having a lovely time with a series of callers, when the start [read more...]

Adjustments

honesty, issues, limits, vertigo No Responses »

Jun 262011

I took a while off from blogging (several of you dropped me a note to ask if I was okay – thank you!) for a few reasons, which can be summarized in this statement: I had a bit of an adjustment disorder (the wikipedia article is pretty good for explanation) In the two months before Feb 15, we knew that we might need to move, and that my husband might need to find a different job. In the three months between Feb 15 and June 15: we found out we would need to move (adjustment to new home) we moved – not just into a new home, but from Austin to Houston, which was somewhat unexpected (adjustment to new city) I had to figure out [read more...]

New Lover Warning Labels

honesty, limits, my lovers, slut, whore No Responses »

Jun 262011

I should have the following warning labels attached to me when meeting with new lovers in person for the first time: I tend to avoid looking directly into people’s eyes for more than just a brief moment at a time because it makes me dizzy faster (eyes are wiggly) Although I go limp and submissive when some people get all rough and tough and toppy with me, other people inspire giggles when they attempt to be growly I need to take a break about once an hour; thankfully, I’ve never been with a lover who can go for longer than an hour straight with no break, either, even without vertigo If you are in from out of town with no rental car, and I am [read more...]

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