I went to 2013 Twisted Tryst South, also known as simply “camp”, knowing I was going to scene with Barak, and terrified. The details of why are in my previous post “Tryst Terror“. Barak and I had communicated boundaries, expectations, and my evolving understanding of why I said yes to the scene over the four months prior to Tryst, and he reviewed my boundary summarization right before our scene Friday evening. But before that, Thursday night when they arrived, Barak and his lovely wife Brat_Sheba and my husband and I had shared hugs and introductions and a lovely nerve-rattling moment of Sheba offering to give Barak ideas of how else to make me dizzy, to which I responded something like “you are not good people!” [read more...]
Here’s another one I wrote for some friends on Fet —– I have a good friend turning 30 soon, a good friend turning 30 soon-ish, and a good friend turning 50 soon. Got me to thinking. When I was in college, I was in therapy for family reasons, a theater major “because I learn more about what it is to be a human through stories than I do psychology or hard sciences” (that was my standard answer, and yes, I know it was pretentious), and heavily involved in a close-knit religious community which encouraged emotional honesty. So I basically thought about myself and my emotions ALL THE TIME. It sounds exhausting now, but obviously, it was what I needed then. Don’t judge. My religious wrestlings, [read more...]
I happened to be at an open mic for stand-up, so I decided to try my hand. I’ve suspected I wouldn’t be horrible at it, and sure enough, it wasn’t horrible (except for about 45 seconds near the beginning, which I edited out). Enjoy And if anybody feels like transcribing it so I can have the whole text of it at the end of this blog post, please feel free to do so and send it to me.
I turned 42 this year, which means I am now The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything (follow the link for the geeky reference). So for my birthday party, I gathered a few local kinkster friends with a very specific set of criteria: I had to believe they wanted good things for me I had to believe they would not be offended or bothered by sexual play (many kinksters, especially BDSM players, only play with pain outside their primary relationship, but they don’t include overtly sexual acts) I had to believe they would say “no” to my request if they were uncomfortable in any way (not everyone will) I had to believe they would enjoy running their hands over my [read more...]
We settled. I’m legally bound to disclose no details, but it was very close to the smallest number I needed to walk away in peace. Most importantly, it’s done, and I never have to look at the nasty papers again. Not today, not next month, not next year. Never. Explanation for those just joining in: I sued my long-term disability insurance for benefits they have refused to pay me for the last 3.5 years, regarding my neurological vertigo severe enough to keep me from working full-time. It was a brutal week leading up to the hearing. The hearing itself was mind-crushingly four hours long, and every aspect of the case was reviewed from every angle. I feel like all the truth was told. That part [read more...]
I wrote this for a few friends, but thought I’d share it with you too. I’m turning 42 on September 18. It’s going to be awesome because that means I’ll be The Answer for a year (geek reference here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrases_from_The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Answer_to_the_Ultimate_Question_of_Life.2C_the_Universe.2C_and_Everything_.2842.29 ). And any year that you’re The Answer to the Ultimate Question has to be a great year. So, that’ll rock. But … I was born on my father’s 28th birthday, so he would have been turning 70, if he were still alive. I grew up thinking of it as “our birthday”, but this will my 20th birthday I’ve celebrated without him since the heart attack that took him at age 50. So. That’ll suck. And on Sept 24, I have a settlement hearing for [read more...]
I’ve built successful communities before: at church, at work, in online gaming, and socially. And I’ve organized group meetings and get-togethers all those places, too. So I had a high level of confidence that hosting my first kinkster community event would be a success… Until about 2 hours beforehand, at which time waves of doubt crashed over me. What if the discussion format bombed? What if nobody shows? What if the food is terrible? When I first organized the event, I was expecting 15 but secretly hoping for 20 just to feel badass. I got 38. That’s right, thirty-eight people showed up to mingle, listen to me give announcements about upcoming community events, and participate in the discussion groups (which were widely referred to as [read more...]
Two years ago, I took my first phone sex call. I’ve never told you about it, have I? My first phone sex call lasted 1 minute. My listing had been approved and active for a week, and I’d been dying from the suspense of wondering who would call. He said he was curious because my listing was so different, I said “Thanks, I think!” in a tone that I meant to sound playful, and he hung up and never called back. Not. Exactly. Encouraging. The next day, I got an email asking if I would exchange for-pay emails about desires for extreme humiliation, sissification, and being pimped out as a cocksucking whore. Sssssure, cuz I’m such an expert on all that (look up “sissification” on [read more...]
“How can you know what you want ’til you get what you want and you see if you like it?” Cinderella, Into the Woods “Human beings are not naturally wired to handle celebrity well – why would we evolve to deal with a million people caring about every detail of our lives when only so few of us have that problem?” – me, random musings “For the first time in my life, I can pay unexpected bills when they come in and not have to sacrifice paying something else. It’s as if Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs were magic: now I have the creative energy to write the stories that have been banging around in my head for a decade” -my ex-roommate, who recently finished the [read more...]
As I texted to a few people, “Electrophysiology surgeon reported: 100% successful procedure to cauterize my mother-in-law’s heart, which should cure her arrhythmia for life!” So all’s well, except that we’re all sleep-deprived and relieved, a combination I find to be a breeding ground for petty grumpiness. Grumpy is a fantastic outcome for the day.