May 012013

I wrote this in January or February to an ex-lover, for his birthday. It went unanswered, as I suspected it would. —– I hope this email finds you well. I hope your New Birthday Year yields pleasant memories, challenges met, puzzles solved, and a sense of growth. My 2012 was intense, and ended with a series of difficult question marks. My January has, unbelievably, resolved into a series of affirmations in a way that makes me suspect, yet again, that my life has been edited for continuity and thematic consistency. I continue to fantasize, as I have since I met you, that you’ll show up at my door one day, unannounced. There aren’t a lot of happy reasons on your side to cause that to [read more...]

Mar 302013

Written for friends on FetLife, where it made it to “Kinky & Popluar”, which meant a lot of people read it and commented and clicked “love” for it. It started some cool conversations. It was fun. —– At a public kinkster event yesterday, I had a thoughtful conversation with a couple of people about their social anxieties, and found out later that two people had chosen to leave the event due to anxieties. Each person’s circumstances and triggers and other contributing factors were different, of course, but I’ve been mulling, so I thought I’d write. Indulge me for a moment, and mentally roll the issue of kinkster gatherings and social anxieties WAY back in time to the moment when any of these people admitted to [read more...]

Feb 022013
Becoming Lady Angela / Staying PlaySmart

I wrote this for friends on FetLife. It contains information bombs for blog readers: 1. My first name is Angela. 2. My username for my personal profile on FetLife is PlaySmart. When I was first starting phone sex, around my 40th birthday, I wrote about choosing the name Galiana, and whether or not Galiana is my real name in some sense. Along the way, I told a few callers my legal name, for various reasons. The guy I met real-time with sugar daddy tendencies. The first caller I told that I loved him, and from the same blog entry, the man who fell asleep to my voice for a while. The one who helped me start accepting my Inner Whore. The guy in a wheelchair [read more...]

Jul 302012

First, Ferns asked for a very special birthday present in a blog post, “The beauty of submissive men” – she wanted photos of submissive men. She asked for diversity and truth. She got both. Because the resulting video can’t be played on my iPhone or iPad, I didn’t see it until after I read this blog post by the ever-articulate submissive Tomio Black, “Unexpected beauty“, which made me cry and cry. Then I finally saw the resulting video, hours later, here: “Submissive men: A celebration of beauty“. I love it with all my heart. Bravo Ferns. And happy birthday, Mistress. If you’re as happily moved as I am, please pass this on as many times as you can (this blog posts, or just direct links [read more...]

Jun 052012
Writing While Pondering

(Warning: this blog post contains irrational capitalization and emphasis, because apparently that’s What Needs to Happen Today as if my thoughts are the titles of published articles, or as if I were writing in the 19th century. I assume the urge for caps case will fade, but apparently I couldn’t write today without it.) I’ve been traveling for two weeks (decadent of me… the last hurrah from my windfalls from March), visiting family in Houston (which was comforting and nourishing as always), and seeing a friend in a show in Chicago (I am ashamed that I only seem to support the arts when I know participants, but I guess it’s better than never supporting the arts). It was an absurd amount of travel for someone [read more...]

May 082012
Bunny Hop Recovery

I seriously injured my back about 2 months ago now, and my recovery has been a bunny hop: two hops forward, one hop back. I knew I was ready to write a blog post again finally when the thought of putting on pink lipstick and my roommate’s bunny ears for a picture didn’t confuse or overwhelm me. (For the record, my roomie is RIDICULOUSLY cute in the bunny ears with her matching pink hair.) To make a long story as short as I’m capable of (not very), I’ve been having rolling compensation re-injuries climbing steadily up my back. The first injury was basically compression in my tailbone, so I compensated by shifting pressure up a few vertebrae, which then injured them, but not quite as [read more...]

Mar 282012
Not That Kind of GFE

The grand experiment was: see if I can successfully travel to meet an out-of-town lover for a multi-day romp, with some resting time built in. The first five days were a smashing success: I rested up after traveling, then we romped to our hearts’ delights in a sunny, warm, cozy place with every creature comfort I could have asked for. I got gussied up with straight hair and red red lips for our first sexy day: He likes me in just a bra and panties. And then I played the part of the good mistress and put on my maybe-we’re-just-colleagues outfit for scrumptious dining out about town (his wife knows about me – I’m more of an extra in their open marriage than a mistress, [read more...]

Mar 102012
Still Alive

I apologize for worrying so many of you by not writing. The crazy stuff: while I was in Houston in February, I tweaked my back, so I spent most of February trying to avoid sitting (lying down and standing and kneeling are fine, and fucking made it feel better, it was just sitting). Every time I tried to write a blog post from my phone, or sit at the computer long enough, something would interrupt, or I’d find myself staring blankly at the screen. I have no good excuse for my blog absence, really, other than “that’s the way this season’s insanity played out”. The fun stuff: Just yesterday, I got my first installment of my Social Security settlement from back in October, which will [read more...]

Feb 102012

“How can you know what you want ’til you get what you want and you see if you like it?” Cinderella, Into the Woods “Human beings are not naturally wired to handle celebrity well – why would we evolve to deal with a million people caring about every detail of our lives when only so few of us have that problem?” – me, random musings “For the first time in my life, I can pay unexpected bills when they come in and not have to sacrifice paying something else. It’s as if Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs were magic: now I have the creative energy to write the stories that have been banging around in my head for a decade” -my ex-roommate, who recently finished the [read more...]

Dec 112011
Thoughts from an Energy Rebound

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, like when your old standby allergy medicines apparently interact with your vertigo medicines and you find yourself confused all the time and sleeping 14 hours in a row. And then sometimes, life lobs you a softie, like when you follow your intuition on how to switch up your allergy treatments and find yourself fully energized again with wildly raging lust, having to practically pin your hands at your sides not to start masturbating from the moment you wake up. I think maybe my favorite days are ones where I finally have that burst of ability again after a time of feeling limited. When the question, “Is this going to last forever?” is answered with a resounding “No, you [read more...]