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The Beauty of Submissive Men

Jul 302012

First, Ferns asked for a very special birthday present in a blog post, “The beauty of submissive men” – she wanted photos of submissive men. She asked for diversity and truth. She got both. Because the resulting video can’t be played on my iPhone or iPad, I didn’t see it until after I read this blog post by the ever-articulate submissive Tomio Black, “Unexpected beauty“, which made me cry and cry. Then I finally saw the resulting video, hours later, here: “Submissive men: A celebration of beauty“. I love it with all my heart. Bravo Ferns. And happy birthday, Mistress. If you’re as happily moved as I am, please pass this on as many times as you can (this blog posts, or just direct links [read more...]

Summer Solstice Kaboom

BDSM, control, cross-dressing, denial, my lovers, subbing, topping No Responses »

Jun 232012

I wrote to my lover yesterday, “So apparently I’m having a little explosion of energy at the moment. Happy Summer Solstice… Here’s a potential new lover and a potential new submissive. Kaboom.” The rest of this blog post is the Galiana-length version of that unusually-well-summarized paragraph. Although I’m not primarily pagan, I do enjoy recognizing seasonal celebrations, and taking the opportunity to examine my life and its cyclical patterns. Summer Solstice is a time to remember the tending and waiting and watering of prior seasons, and to celebrate new growth. I think it’s obvious from my recent upward trend of blogging volume that I’m feeling a bit better than I was March-May. I worked hard to heal my back from its injury, which is finally [read more...]

Heartland Kink

bdsm, BDSM, boobs, My Life, pain, subbing, topping, toys 1 Response »

Dec 222011

This is a story of how to get involved in your local BDSM / kink community, as well as a little smut about my life. The short version: my husband got to consensually smack an adorable masochistic college student in her early 20s, and I got to grab her boobs, and it was awesome. The rest of this blog post is the long version. When we moved here in October, we knew the fastest way to find open-minded friends would probably be to involve ourselves with the kink / BDSM community. FetLife seemed a good place to start: a high concentration of people who won’t disapprove of my phone sex career, and FetLife is excellent at discovering community events. We went to a “munch” first, [read more...]

My First YouTube Video: First Thoughts on Control

bdsm, BDSM, control, my lusts, power, subbing, topping, values No Responses »

Sep 082011

I just posted my first YouTube video! The title is “First Thoughts on Control – Recognizing Abuse and Encouraging Negotiation” and it’s aimed at people interested in control play in the bedroom. I do not think I have necessarily original thoughts on BDSM subjects, but I believe that every voice helps when it comes to encouraging safety and sanity, even in the context of for-pay BDSM over the phone. I have more a generic intro “Hello World” video that I should post first, but upon re-watching it, I need to add one significant thought to it before I post it, and I’ve already stalled on posting these long enough (I recorded it 10 days ago). So I pulled on my big girl panties and pretended [read more...]

Summer Fling

love, power, subbing, whore, words 4 Responses »

Sep 042011

I started my non-mainstream sexual explorations as a submissive, and have morphed into a switch-leaning-dominant. This week, I invested a tremendous amount of energy and passion in my femdom identity, defending and celebrating male submissives not only on my blog, but also on comments on other blogs that were apparently intelligent enough to be requoted. So what was the perhaps inevitable response of the universe to ensure my life remains in balance? I had one of the craziest, most intense whirlwinds ever with … wait for it … a new dominant male caller. Everyone who saw that coming, raise your hand. Hmmm, everybody, huh? In retrospect, the only surprise is that I was surprised. The day we met, he called me twice, for a total [read more...]

In Celebration of the Male Submissive

bdsm, BDSM, celebration, honesty, subbing, topping 8 Responses »

Sep 012011

I have been reading a conversation on the web about male submissives, which almost led to a blog post title of “Heartbreak and the Male Submissive” but I decided, instead, to celebrate, in addition to empathizing. It started with @maymaym (the guy behind the visual-celebration-of-male-submission site: http://malesubmissionart.com/) posting a link to this incredibly well-written piece discussing how often members of the BDSM scene devalue male submissives, even while valuing female dominants: http://www.labcoatlingerie.com/2011/08/09/the-cost-of-devaluing-male-submission-one-token/ This particular conversation goes back further on the internet, but that’s where I joined it. Then tonight, maymay posted a related link, from KinkInExile, who had responded to Professor Chaos, with something equally well-written, about being a geek female dominant who breaks stereotypes and has a hard time finding a male submissive partner, [read more...]

The Cat Came Back

heartbreak, manipulation, subbing 2 Responses »

Aug 172011

September 12, 2010 – almost a year ago – was the last I heard of Inception guy from my Heartbreak II post. Eleven months later, on August 12, 2011, he called me again. So much has changed with my internal landscape. When he found me last year, I was just starting out. I was learning my limits. I was expanding my horizons. I was exploring undiscovered countries in myself, boldly going with callers where no man had gone before, time and time and time again. And now, while I don’t feel jaded, with hundreds more hours of phone time under my belt, I do feel prepared, educated, and perhaps a bit better equipped to care for myself. During the year, I had found him on [read more...]

Video: Submissive Slut

lingerie, slut, subbing, toys, video No Responses »

Jul 282011

I’m pleased to announce my bounciest, ditziest, cutest, perkiest video yet: Submissive Slut Awaiting Master’s Visit. It’s a custom video, and the instructions were: * dress as cute as you can get: pigtails, your glasses, and girly lingerie (check) * act out the scenario of: you’re my submissive slut, and you’re telling me how much you’re looking forward to my visit this coming weekend (check) * look sweet and innocent, but talk filthy (check) * if you can gag on a toy or play with your pussy, all the better (oh hell yeah check) I was kind of hopped up on caffeine and adrenaline when I shot this. I’d been thinking about sexy things all day and changing into a series of sexy outfits, so [read more...]

Request for Listing Input

gfe, hypno, me asking for help, my lovers, power, subbing, topping, variety, writing 2 Responses »

Apr 122011

I used to think that I did things in weird ways until I worked with dozens of programmers. Then I learned that most people do things in their own unique fashion, and that if you give them room to do things their way, often it will be most efficient for them. When I have a big, complicated project looming — like, for example, rewriting all my listings — I need to ponder it a while before I actually start making changes. I am currently in my mulling phase, which means I’m pleasantly distracting myself by importing my transaction detail into an Access database , and automating the process to parse customer name and transaction type. Inner Data Analyst: It’s about frikkin’ time! The Excel process [read more...]

Subby With Hubby

pain, phone sex, pics, pictures, subbing 2 Responses »

Mar 282011

Warning: Those of you who like to pretend that I am never with another man should skip this post. I have a new picture set up for sale, called “Subby With Hubby”, which is way too cutesy, but once I thought of it, I couldn’t let it go. During my 40th birthday celebration photo shoot, I needed some assistance with the portions of the evening where I was being submissive, and my husband was kind enough to offer a helping hand. He helped position me when I was clamped in yellow: He helped bind me when I was hog-tied in purple: He helped put a big ol’ handprint on both sides of my ass (most of the picture set is him spanking me HARD, twice, [read more...]

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