denial » Chance It

Summer Solstice Kaboom

BDSM, control, cross-dressing, denial, my lovers, subbing, topping No Responses »

Jun 232012

I wrote to my lover yesterday, “So apparently I’m having a little explosion of energy at the moment. Happy Summer Solstice… Here’s a potential new lover and a potential new submissive. Kaboom.” The rest of this blog post is the Galiana-length version of that unusually-well-summarized paragraph. Although I’m not primarily pagan, I do enjoy recognizing seasonal celebrations, and taking the opportunity to examine my life and its cyclical patterns. Summer Solstice is a time to remember the tending and waiting and watering of prior seasons, and to celebrate new growth. I think it’s obvious from my recent upward trend of blogging volume that I’m feeling a bit better than I was March-May. I worked hard to heal my back from its injury, which is finally [read more...]

Recent Faves

control, denial, favorite stories, role play, teasing No Responses »

Jun 172012

I have been deeply enjoying time with callers who have made appointments with me. I’m sure I’ll log back in for The Whole World again some day, but in the meantime, a few of my recent favorite fantasies: I’m in the Witness Protection Program and he’s my favorite bodyguard, one of the only people I can be honest with. When I get to go out of the house, I have to wear a high-tech realistic mask that alters my features so I’m unrecognizable, but I can’t let anyone touch me in it or they’d realize I’m in a mask. This is a terrible fate for someone who is used to getting a lot of attention from men, so I tend to go out, flirt with [read more...]

Chastity, Tease, and Ballbusting mp3

chastity, control, denial, humiliation, manipulation, mp3, orgasm, teasing No Responses »

Aug 182011

Imagine you’re sitting in a rattan chair with a hole cut in the seat, you are naked, and your balls are exposed through the rattan. Now imagine I am there with you, and I want to have a bit of a chat about a few of my favorite topics. And by “chat” I mean: I talk, calmly, rationally, and steadily, while you listen. And by “a bit” I mean: For a little over 23 minutes. And by “a few of my favorite topics” I mean: Male orgasm control, tease and denial, ruined orgasms, ball busting, and the unfortunate consequences of you having a small penis. This audio file was custom ordered to help a caller reinforce his ongoing chastity for me. It was March 27th [read more...]

Grand Slam Call

BBC, cuckold, denial, humiliation, LGBTQ, teasing No Responses »

Aug 172011

I was going to call it a “Home Run Call” because I identified at least four fetishes, but then I realized how many fetishes I was grouping together into a cuckolding fetish: cuckolding super-fetish = being cuckolded + big black cock + small penis humiliation + forced bisexuality + cream pie. So then I asked myself: what number would make a Grand Slam Call? Sure, it puts four runs on the board, but there are 10 bases covered in a grand slam by the time all four runners make it home, right (4+3+2+1)? So I set out to try to limit the fetishes on this call to only 10, if I separated them out properly. Turns out, it was easy. We’re married, and: I have [read more...]

Memory and Notes and Meds

control, denial, PSO data, teasing 2 Responses »

Aug 022011

I wrote about how much I remembered vs how much I wrote in this blog post (Memory and Notes), but when I went on my horse tranquilizers mid-May (2.5 months already?), I wondered what the effect would be on my memory. The other day I had a delightful call from a gent who has been keeping up with my blog (awwww, thank you!), and left me this feedback – I blame the typos on the ludicrously intense session he had just had with me: “Im so glad your feeling better and I’m so so glad I got to talk to you. I would beg for you anytime if the day. Thank you again” (side note: I shamelessly stole the idea to incorporate feedback into blog [read more...]

Tease and Long-Term Denial

chastity, control, denial, orgasm, power, teasing, topping No Responses »

Jul 052011

I have a caller who has gotten me interested in a concept with many facets and many names: one piece is male chastity / male orgasm denial / tease and denial; a second piece is sack tapping / ball torture; a third piece is small penis humiliation. Whew. It’s a lot to take in. Thankfully, he’s a patient teacher. In fact, our conversations would frequently seem theoretical to an outsider: we would seem like two people rationally and calmly discussing the merits of a man not having an orgasm for days on end… weeks on end… months on end… maybe never. And how testicles feel when stretched or pulled or flicked or punched when they are full. And how some women feel that men with [read more...]