control » Chance It

Real-Time Service

BDSM, control, cross-dressing, lingerie, my lovers, teasing, topping No Responses »

Jun 262012

I was so deeply moved by my time with teddybearslave today. This blog post is likely to be poorly structured at best, and completely incomprehensible at worst, but I need to get my tumble of thoughts out of my brain into some place where I can see them again and remember what I feel like right this moment. I’m so cautious interpersonally, in some ways. It’s a crazy statement from someone whose husband’s girlfriend lives with us, who has an in-person lover locally and another long-distance. I can see that. And yet, on Friday night, when I tagged in to substitute in a play scene with my husband and another local couple, I stopped myself from kissing her, taking off my clothing, licking her, blowing [read more...]

Summer Solstice Kaboom

BDSM, control, cross-dressing, denial, my lovers, subbing, topping No Responses »

Jun 232012

I wrote to my lover yesterday, “So apparently I’m having a little explosion of energy at the moment. Happy Summer Solstice… Here’s a potential new lover and a potential new submissive. Kaboom.” The rest of this blog post is the Galiana-length version of that unusually-well-summarized paragraph. Although I’m not primarily pagan, I do enjoy recognizing seasonal celebrations, and taking the opportunity to examine my life and its cyclical patterns. Summer Solstice is a time to remember the tending and waiting and watering of prior seasons, and to celebrate new growth. I think it’s obvious from my recent upward trend of blogging volume that I’m feeling a bit better than I was March-May. I worked hard to heal my back from its injury, which is finally [read more...]

Recent Faves

control, denial, favorite stories, role play, teasing No Responses »

Jun 172012

I have been deeply enjoying time with callers who have made appointments with me. I’m sure I’ll log back in for The Whole World again some day, but in the meantime, a few of my recent favorite fantasies: I’m in the Witness Protection Program and he’s my favorite bodyguard, one of the only people I can be honest with. When I get to go out of the house, I have to wear a high-tech realistic mask that alters my features so I’m unrecognizable, but I can’t let anyone touch me in it or they’d realize I’m in a mask. This is a terrible fate for someone who is used to getting a lot of attention from men, so I tend to go out, flirt with [read more...]

I’m Stuffed

availability, control, honesty, issues, limits, me giving advice, my way, power, topping No Responses »

Oct 182011

Summary (extra-short): My stuff has arrived in my home, so I’m all stuffed up. Summary (medium-short): After 10 days of hearing nothing from our movers, we got a call Saturday saying they would hold our stuff hostage unless we paid them $800 more than the estimate. Sunday, after they arrived at 6:30 pm, we refused to pay it, called cops, had a 3-hour stand-off in our front yard, took video, measured the truck, I cried, and they eventually agreed to the $1600 originally estimated plus the $200 tip I had always intended to give them. Monday, they arrived at 11:30, took our money, then informed us they were in too big of a hurry to reassemble our furniture or put any furniture or boxes where [read more...]

My First YouTube Video: First Thoughts on Control

bdsm, BDSM, control, my lusts, power, subbing, topping, values No Responses »

Sep 082011

I just posted my first YouTube video! The title is “First Thoughts on Control – Recognizing Abuse and Encouraging Negotiation” and it’s aimed at people interested in control play in the bedroom. I do not think I have necessarily original thoughts on BDSM subjects, but I believe that every voice helps when it comes to encouraging safety and sanity, even in the context of for-pay BDSM over the phone. I have more a generic intro “Hello World” video that I should post first, but upon re-watching it, I need to add one significant thought to it before I post it, and I’ve already stalled on posting these long enough (I recorded it 10 days ago). So I pulled on my big girl panties and pretended [read more...]

Chastity, Tease, and Ballbusting mp3

chastity, control, denial, humiliation, manipulation, mp3, orgasm, teasing No Responses »

Aug 182011

Imagine you’re sitting in a rattan chair with a hole cut in the seat, you are naked, and your balls are exposed through the rattan. Now imagine I am there with you, and I want to have a bit of a chat about a few of my favorite topics. And by “chat” I mean: I talk, calmly, rationally, and steadily, while you listen. And by “a bit” I mean: For a little over 23 minutes. And by “a few of my favorite topics” I mean: Male orgasm control, tease and denial, ruined orgasms, ball busting, and the unfortunate consequences of you having a small penis. This audio file was custom ordered to help a caller reinforce his ongoing chastity for me. It was March 27th [read more...]

Memory and Notes and Meds

control, denial, PSO data, teasing 2 Responses »

Aug 022011

I wrote about how much I remembered vs how much I wrote in this blog post (Memory and Notes), but when I went on my horse tranquilizers mid-May (2.5 months already?), I wondered what the effect would be on my memory. The other day I had a delightful call from a gent who has been keeping up with my blog (awwww, thank you!), and left me this feedback – I blame the typos on the ludicrously intense session he had just had with me: “Im so glad your feeling better and I’m so so glad I got to talk to you. I would beg for you anytime if the day. Thank you again” (side note: I shamelessly stole the idea to incorporate feedback into blog [read more...]

Video: Paralegal Humiliation and Blackmail

control, financial, humiliation, lingerie, power, stockings, topping, video No Responses »

Jul 272011

Video: Paralegal Humiliation and Blackmail

You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you? First, you took credit for my work on the case, then you lied to me about your marital status, and last, but certainly not least, you are working with a seriously under-equipped little partner there in your pants, aren’t you? Tell you what, you just sit back and enjoy this video conference call where I do a strip tease for you on company time, and I’ll make sure and save it with no audio so HR and the senior partners can get a good long look at it, if you don’t give me what I’m demanding… I was in quite a mood when I shot this video, thinking of a caller who is a lawyer (and I used [read more...]

Tease and Long-Term Denial

chastity, control, denial, orgasm, power, teasing, topping No Responses »

Jul 052011

I have a caller who has gotten me interested in a concept with many facets and many names: one piece is male chastity / male orgasm denial / tease and denial; a second piece is sack tapping / ball torture; a third piece is small penis humiliation. Whew. It’s a lot to take in. Thankfully, he’s a patient teacher. In fact, our conversations would frequently seem theoretical to an outsider: we would seem like two people rationally and calmly discussing the merits of a man not having an orgasm for days on end… weeks on end… months on end… maybe never. And how testicles feel when stretched or pulled or flicked or punched when they are full. And how some women feel that men with [read more...]

Punishment

control, phone sex, topping No Responses »

Feb 012011

Friday nights at 5, or Sunday nights at 7, he confesses his sins to me, a way to clear out the cobwebs from the week, or to hold on to the weekend for all it’s worth. The misdeeds are naughty at worst, with no harmful consequences on their own. Masturbating without permission. Lusting over coworkers. Watching porn. I punish him: redden his ass with my hand. Or a flogger. Or a paddle. Or a crop. Or a cane. It depends on my mood. But regardless of the instrument, the position is the same: he is draped over my knees, naked, with his hungry cock pressed between the lace tops of my stockings. After his punishment, sometimes he services me. Or sometimes I take him with [read more...]

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