Holy crap… someone took me up on my offer from my last blog post, so he could hear me being all loopy on my medicine. He said I just sounded drunk, and he thought it was amusing. He asked me all kinds of questions to see if I’d accidentally admit to some dark secret that I wouldn’t tell him normally, which made me laugh at him. As far as I can tell, no secrets were spilled … mostly because I suck at keeping secrets even when I’m un-drugged! And then he gave me a tribute for logging on for him! Ha! That cracked me up, because I was the one being all dorky and stoned and bizarre, so I was sure he was going to [read more...]
I may work in the only profession where it is not altogether unexpected to receive a work-related email with the subject line, “Pantyhose and Aliens” ~ me, sent as a text last night to a few friends and family
I love the creative use of language, and using unexpected words to convey exactly the right tone. I frequently fall back to under-used gems like Nifty! Zoikes! or Swell! for my own amusement. Yesterday on my last call of the night, in a delightfully winding and conversationally intimate conversation with a self-described Masturbator (but not the Masturbation Superstar I described in an earlier post, who I haven’t heard from in much too long…), he said he was having trouble focusing. I asked how I could help him focus, and he drew in his breath, and replied, “Well, jeepers…” So. Happy. Jeepers! I’ve been looking for you! I’ve been missing a word lately, and it needed all those soft sounds, to convey feeling a little overwhelmed, [read more...]
Public Service Announcement (PSA) from your friendly neighborhood Phone Sex Operator (PSO): Please keep in mind that your PSO is not told your identity / user name when you call, and cannot look it up until the call has been connected for at least a few seconds, and then only if she is at her computer and logged in to the right page, which is not always the case. “Mistaken Identity” mishaps can possibly occur. For example, if yesterday’s call to the new Role Playing listing involved me being transformed from a physiologically normal human woman into a freakish sexbot with a 12-inch cock, testicles the size of grapefruit, and breasts the size of basketballs… then today when you call the same listing and tell [read more...]
I’d trade two 18-year-old strippers for you any day. ~ a satisfied caller
He liked the picture I sent him to say thanks for leaving me feedback. A lot. He saw it on his phone, and it filled him with such lust he escaped to a remote bathroom at work to call me. We played, with me riding him in a car, on a couch, him drilling into me while trapping my knees with his arms. He came. His breathing returned to normal. I could hear him washing his hands. He sighed deeply. (in a singsong voice) “The rest of my day is gonna suuuuuuuuck nowwwwww.” I think he meant “by comparison because that was so incredibly fun to play with you.” If I find out later that’s not what he meant, I’m going to ignore that, and [read more...]
“I like a little bounce when I pounce” – New caller, complimenting me on being curvy in a way that pleases him I love it sooooo much.
Tip of the Day for phone sex callers: When picking a user name, double-check to make sure the word “poo” isn’t accidentally embedded in it.
“You are a lot of positive adjectives.” – The Omnivore, thanking me, after having an apparently mind-scrambling orgasm
I’ve never laughed that hard after a call ended. You totally win, babe. Meet the Masturbation Superstar, aka The Avid Masturbator (@AvidMasturbator on Twitter), aka Brad Hamilton (from Fast Times at Ridgemont High). He’s one of the wankers from my Sex-Free Phone Sex post, and he loves attention, and he loves being “outed” by the women he calls. I hope he likes details being shared! Our calls usually follow a pattern: we chat about women he finds sexy while he expertly strokes himself, and when he’s close, I tell him who to have an orgasm for. I’m fascinated by his “guilty pleasures”, women who are outside the mainstream of young, tight, Hollywood-types, but he finds worthy of his affections anyway. But this one topped them all: Christine [read more...]