I may work in the only profession where it is not altogether unexpected to receive a work-related email with the subject line, “Pantyhose and Aliens” ~ me, sent as a text last night to a few friends and family
May 092011
Mar 232011
After writing yesterday’s Girly Girl blog post, I remembered that I had $100 in SpaFinder gift certificates from a caller. Apparently, at his job, when you do awesome above-and-beyond things, they reward you with these points that you can cash in for gift certificates — he used his to get me SpaFinder for a post-move stress-release massage. Please, by all means, continue to be awesome at work on my behalf! Turns out, the place nearest to me that accepts those gift cards also has an exfoliating massage followed by a “Vichy Shower” which looks like this: That’s SEVEN shower heads. I was lying on a rubber mat (which totally made me want to go down a water slide) on a steel bed in a completely [read more...]
Jan 242011
I have a new voice sample, and a new listing, both springing from my recent interactions with the ASFR (alt.sex.fetish.robot) community, which, after I write this post, I will try to stop writing about for a while in case people get the wrong idea and think it’s all I do anymore… First, the voice sample. I love it. A lot. It was super fun to write (all five drafts of it…), super fun to record (all twelve takes if you include the earlier versions of the script), and super fun to imagine the response of the gang over at Fembot Central when they listen to it (although I just realized that I never said “does not compute” and maybe I didn’t have enough stutter enough [read more...]
Jan 112011
I’d trade two 18-year-old strippers for you any day. ~ a satisfied caller
Dec 212010
He liked the picture I sent him to say thanks for leaving me feedback. A lot. He saw it on his phone, and it filled him with such lust he escaped to a remote bathroom at work to call me. We played, with me riding him in a car, on a couch, him drilling into me while trapping my knees with his arms. He came. His breathing returned to normal. I could hear him washing his hands. He sighed deeply. (in a singsong voice) “The rest of my day is gonna suuuuuuuuck nowwwwww.” I think he meant “by comparison because that was so incredibly fun to play with you.” If I find out later that’s not what he meant, I’m going to ignore that, and [read more...]
Dec 212010
I’ve heard of “drive-by tributes” (where someone who has never been a caller, and never bought any of your pay-to-views, gives you a tribute out the blue), but never been fortunate enough to be the recipient of one. (side note: Today I had to take the day off because I had a dental visit. My extreme dental phobia means it’s best if I choose “conscious sedation” (a prescribed drug which ensures I remember nothing later), so I don’t remember anything today from about 9:50 am to 4:15 pm.) (side note continued: I joked that I should have been taking true confessions calls, because I wouldn’t have remembered them anyway right? An excellent plan! … Except for the part where I was also sound asleep for [read more...]
Dec 102010
“I like a little bounce when I pounce” – New caller, complimenting me on being curvy in a way that pleases him I love it sooooo much.
Nov 162010
I did an early blog post about being honestly orally fixated. But then I attended a phone sex “job interview” where my oral skills were called into question, and I realized as I was explaining my “qualifications” that I should add this information to the blogged explanations of my oral cravings. The un-sexy part: (dental phobias? skip this paragraph) I have at least a $15,000 mouth because I had two childhood oral traumas where I knocked out baby teeth, one teen oral trauma that broke one of my front teeth (it’s half-fake), five oral surgeries, and braces for two and a half years in high school. The really un-sexy part: (dental phobics skip this paragraph too) One of my surgeries was because my adult incisors [read more...]
Nov 122010
I usually wear a skirt when I’m logged in for phone sex for easier access in case I want to masturbate. Screen shot of Galiana’s idea of soft porn But the other day, I’d been out running errands before logging on, and was still wearing jeans when “Evanston Crush” called. He asked what I was wearing, and as I described them to him, I had flashbacks of many happy hours of rubbing and grinding while wearing denim. If the definition of a true fetish is “something you need in order to experience sexual pleasure”, then I don’t have any fetishes. Well, orgasms. I need orgasms. I don’t even need an erect penis (don’t get me wrong, I love erect penises a lot, but I don’t [read more...]
Nov 012010
“You are a lot of positive adjectives.” – The Omnivore, thanking me, after having an apparently mind-scrambling orgasm