2011 September » Chance It

Care and Feeding of Galiana

availability, dear galiana, history, issues, vertigo, writing 2 Responses »

Sep 162011

In the probably-forgettable movie Made In Heaven, seen in my impressionable youth, a new soul falls in love with a guy named Mike in heaven, and then, after she’s born and grows up, although she doesn’t remember him directly, she writes a children’s book called “The Care and Feeding of Mike”. The sweet little phrase stuck with me, and now when I think of care, I think “The Care and Feeding of…” Urg. I have so much want. I want to continue the dialog I entered into with my celebration of male submissives post, reading others’ spectacular writings and leaving comments that make me seem like I know what I’m talking about. I want to keep engaging with Fizz and Chaos of Lab Coats & [read more...]

Happy Birthday (soon) Happy 400 (now)

attention whore, birthday, celebration, texting 7 Responses »

Sep 142011

This weekend is my 41st birthday (Sunday, the 18th). Last year, for my 40th birthday, I made a ruckus on my blog, my name was in lights (literally) at the Northwestern-Rice football game, I had a professional photo shoot, and I spoiled and pampered myself all month celebrating. This year, on the day before I turn 41, my hubby and I are joining my mom in her cozy little living room, where she is renting The Big Chill and buying us pizza. A bit different. Apparently, my thoughts about turning 41 are, “I don’t care about turning 41, but did I do everything I wanted to do while I was 40? You know, I kind of wanted to watch The Big Chill again – it’s [read more...]

Pretending I Help, Part II

honesty, me giving advice, pretending i help 4 Responses »

Sep 132011

Callers have told me that I have helped them, most often by helping them fall asleep after they climax. As someone who is genuinely, deeply concerned about sleep-deprivation for many of my friends and loved ones, I value “phone sex as a sleep aid” more than most people probably do, and I’m happy to help in that way. But back in late 2010 / early 2011, I was active on reddit for a while. I had to quit; it ended up being too dizzying to keep up with the amount of scrolling required. But I enjoyed reading people’s questions, and offering pithy and/or amusing answers, imagining that one day I could develop a following and become the phone-sex-girl equivalent of Dan Savage (gay male sex [read more...]

My First YouTube Video: First Thoughts on Control

bdsm, BDSM, control, my lusts, power, subbing, topping, values No Responses »

Sep 082011

I just posted my first YouTube video! The title is “First Thoughts on Control – Recognizing Abuse and Encouraging Negotiation” and it’s aimed at people interested in control play in the bedroom. I do not think I have necessarily original thoughts on BDSM subjects, but I believe that every voice helps when it comes to encouraging safety and sanity, even in the context of for-pay BDSM over the phone. I have more a generic intro “Hello World” video that I should post first, but upon re-watching it, I need to add one significant thought to it before I post it, and I’ve already stalled on posting these long enough (I recorded it 10 days ago). So I pulled on my big girl panties and pretended [read more...]

Kiwi Candy, the Crossover

favorite stories, masturbation, oral, other PSOs, phone sex operator, strapon, technosexual, toys 3 Responses »

Sep 072011

The Hollywood-gorgeous Kiwi Candy and I were chatting today about callers we’ve shared in the nine months since she has skyrocketed to NiteFlirt fame. Background: she found my blog when she was first starting out, and at first I mentored her a bit, but we became friends as she kicked my ass in the ratings, and now I ask her advice as often as she does with me. It’s easy to bond in that vulnerable time of night that is made for fucking, that 10pm-2am window when both our defenses are a little lower and our minds are both set in sexy mode. We often keep each other company between calls. She’s as genuine as I am: she really loves phone sex, she really wants [read more...]

Tell Me You Love Me

love, lust, manipulation, what I want, words, writing 11 Responses »

Sep 062011

I just realized, just this moment, that there is a phrase I utter in my fantasies, in my mind, all the time, that I can hear echoing in my head as the prelude to almost any self-arousal, and as an essential part of any masturbation, but I have never uttered it during phone sex: tell me you love me Late at night, when I start getting sleepy and snuggly, and I take a deep breath and listen to my body, those words echo through my mind before I know where they will lead, but they set the stage. tell me you love me I worry about being manipulative, even though I know sometimes I am, by the nature of the business. But I have lines [read more...]

Summer Fling

love, power, subbing, whore, words 4 Responses »

Sep 042011

I started my non-mainstream sexual explorations as a submissive, and have morphed into a switch-leaning-dominant. This week, I invested a tremendous amount of energy and passion in my femdom identity, defending and celebrating male submissives not only on my blog, but also on comments on other blogs that were apparently intelligent enough to be requoted. So what was the perhaps inevitable response of the universe to ensure my life remains in balance? I had one of the craziest, most intense whirlwinds ever with … wait for it … a new dominant male caller. Everyone who saw that coming, raise your hand. Hmmm, everybody, huh? In retrospect, the only surprise is that I was surprised. The day we met, he called me twice, for a total [read more...]

In Celebration of the Male Submissive

bdsm, BDSM, celebration, honesty, subbing, topping 8 Responses »

Sep 012011

I have been reading a conversation on the web about male submissives, which almost led to a blog post title of “Heartbreak and the Male Submissive” but I decided, instead, to celebrate, in addition to empathizing. It started with @maymaym (the guy behind the visual-celebration-of-male-submission site: http://malesubmissionart.com/) posting a link to this incredibly well-written piece discussing how often members of the BDSM scene devalue male submissives, even while valuing female dominants: http://www.labcoatlingerie.com/2011/08/09/the-cost-of-devaluing-male-submission-one-token/ This particular conversation goes back further on the internet, but that’s where I joined it. Then tonight, maymay posted a related link, from KinkInExile, who had responded to Professor Chaos, with something equally well-written, about being a geek female dominant who breaks stereotypes and has a hard time finding a male submissive partner, [read more...]